ABOUT THIS MONOLOGUE - This is a peek into how the male child, especially the Indian male child, discovers sex. What it takes to make sure he develops a healthy perspective around it, and what may happen if he DOESN'T develop a health perspective around it
This is a work of fiction. The content is highly explicit in nature, wish to caution you ...
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I am Shantanu. I am 14 years old. And I know how "love can be made" in 6 different positions. Ask me !
Well, most of my classmates do. All of us have broadbands at home, right. Many of my friends had to beg plead with their daddy to get the connection. I didn't have to. My daddy wants me to learn well, and he gifted me the internet connection along with a pack of books on my 13th Birthday. What he does not know is that the internet connection also brings me hardcore XXX porn, which can be streamed live, absolutely free. I had faintly heard him talking to the computer guy for having a child lock software installed. Poor daddy ! A 5 year old could bypass that lame software by simply googling on how to do it ! I didn't even have to google. I checked with Abhay, my classmate and my neighbor, and it was a 2 minutes job then.
I found the child lock thing weird. What is the big deal ? I see this in school also. Guys in the class will discuss the videos as if they were a dirty secret. And then they will discuss the adventures they had with their dicks after watching the videos in an even more hush hush manner. That really puts me off. Why the fuss? I feel no shame in saying, I love my Dick ! It was one of the first toys I had, and it remains the favorite still. It was always a toy with no risk of loosing or breaking. No permission was required to play with it. Playing with it tickled in the funniest of ways, in fact increasingly it is becoming more and more fun !
However I think the real fun starts when you have a girl around. They show in the porn videos, guys put it to use in unbelievable ways ! And the girls too seem to like it. Watching the videos really intrigues me, excites me - I feel like talking to somebody; somebody who can explain the sport to me properly. Sadly, Daddy wont talk about it. If I try to talk, he simply ignores. Jeetu bhaiyya on the third floor generally talks about it a lot, but he more seems to be making fun of the whole thing. And classmates at school are completely ruled out. I dont think they know more than me, and when I talk about it they giggle like morons !
2 days ago I taught them a good lesson. Anshul, the fat bugger took 10 of us in the bathroom with our rulers, and then said let us all see who has the biggest dick. 4 of the 10 chickened out. The 6 of us did the competition. We got our dicks hard and then measured it with the ruler. I must proudly say I was a good 6 cms ahead of Anshul, who came second. I remember the look on their faces. The other 4 didnt say anything. Anshul was also stunned for a minute, with that look of denial on his face. Then he challenged me again, on who pisses the highest on the wall. How stupid can he be ! One, his dick is smaller than me. Two, after seeing my size he lost his hardness almost immediately while I was still hard. And then he did the pissing competition with me. Bugger lost by 14 cms this time. None of them laugh at anything I say after I won these competitions. Morons !
Coming back to talking about the sport. The only person I can really talk to is Kalicharan bhaiyya. He is a cycle rickshaw puller. He drops me to the school everyday, and also brings me back home. I really like him. He is tall, well built and has a heavy voice. I narrate all the videos to him, and he just listens with a smile. He finds the pornstars' names really funny, so I make it a point to tell him the names every time. We have a good laugh then. Wish daddy was this open regarding stuff !
I really look forward to trying out the sport some time. Yesterday I saw a very different style. The guy didn't put his dick in the usual place, he put it somewhere else. The video name read " Anal sex ". I wonder if this is as good as the usual style. Wish could talk to someone and understand. Kali bhaiyya also didn't give a very good reaction on this one, said nothing...I wish daddy was talkative, especially on this topic.
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I am Kalicharan. I am 29 years old. And I will rape a woman any day now ! Just any day !
What will I get out of it, you may ask. You amuse me, really. Do you really think I give so much of thought to it? Do you really think I will plan it out, weighing pros and cons? Ha ! NO ! The day this impulse in me, this madness has me gripped, I will just do it.
The reactions around the recent rape cases have only made sure I strike sooner than later. What do you think you all will benefit by running it continuously in TV and newspapers, sensationalizing it, as if trying to "Spice it up"? What do you think you have achieved by sharing all the elaborate details regarding the rods and the candles ? Well, if you really ask me, all the hype inspires me - and to be frank with you, the details TURN ME ON !
Do you really believe hanging 4 stupid buggers will deter me? You are again assuming I will think of consequences before doing it. It is a mad impulse I have inherited, and it is a dark intent that has poured into my mind like an acid since I was 6. Fatal combination, Gentlemen !
My father worked in a liquor factory. He was a hard worker. He never wasted the salary he got. Unfortunately, the overtime was paid in kind - one bottle of the crude mix out of which the liquor was made. And no factory worker true to his salt denies overtime, right ? So he would come home after 16 hours of whip cracking work, and with one bottle of crude katta down. His eyes would be swollen and red, his face hung. However, no matter how drunk he was, the first thing he would do after coming home would be to run his hand gently thru my hair and face, and look into my eyes with affection. He never said anything, but I would die even today for those 15 seconds of affection in his eyes.
Then he would look ay my mother. And that is when hell would break loose. My mother was a real nutcase. She had this sullen, helpless, dead expression on her face all the time, as if asking God why she was sent to earth and how soon can she expect a summon back. She used to be at home all the time, and her complete disinterest in everything around including me and father had just got absorbed like a permanent stench into everything.
I am sure father half lost it only by looking at her dead face. And then it was not doing the simple things my father asked her to do, which filled for the other half. Father used to tell her everyday before going to the factory that he would return by x time, and she should keep the dinner warm and ready just before he reaches home back from work. But she NEVER, EVER did this. She would start heating the food only after seeing father back from the factory, and that is when father used to loose it completely. Couldn't she follow simple instructions, and understand that she should not provoke a guy who is drunk, hungry and has worked like a bull the whole day ? She received a beating almost daily before dinner. I never felt sorry for her. She deserved it.
In fact, I guess she deserved more. Because many a times father gave her more than beating. It was just that he gave it to her after he thought I was asleep. What he didn't think was, that even if I was asleep, in that one room hovel that we lived in the sound was sufficient to wake me up. I saw him do it many a times, and going by father's angry and forceful body movement, I always saw it like an extension of the pre dinner punishment.
Things turned a little positive some years later. when I was 14, mother and father had a daughter. We used to call her Gudiya. I found Gudiya very sweet, and father too doted on her. She was an ever smiling kid, and I just hoped she remains that way - my mother's expressionless lifestyle doesn't spill over her.
Like other girls, she learnt to speak early. By the time she was 2, she had started calling me Bhaiyya. No matter how sullen I was, her calling me Bhaiyya would always lighten my face up.
However, our happiness was short lived. Like everything else, mother's disinterest took away this happiness as well from me and father. Another year had passed by, Gudiya was 3. I had started pulling rickshaw by then, and I used to come home late too. When I used to return home, Gudiya would be asleep. It was winter, and most of the times, it was I who covered Gudiya with a blanket - mother did not seem to care much ! One day, Gudiya caught severe cold. I was furious. I shouted at mother, taunted her for not taking care of Gudiya. I think my anger shook her a bit too much, since she immediately went to a corner of the house, took some pill out, and had Gudiya take it with water.
That pill proved to be a deadly wrong one. Within an hour Gudiya's fever went up like crazy. I rushed Gudiya towards my rickshaw, and saw father returning from work. Both of us put Gudiya into the rickshaw, and then I peddled like mad.
It was very late in the night - no clinics were open. The nearest hospital was 8 kms, and by the time we reached, we had lost Gudiya.
That night Mother got the beating from both me and Father. Father couldn't bear her any more. He just chucked mother out of the house, told her to go to her mother's place and never return. We felt a very weird emptiness in the house for many days after she went.
Father got heavily into drinking after this, also prostitution. He would go straight to the brothels after work. Some times I used to spot him on his way to the brothel, and follow him silently without letting him know. One day, he saw me. I was a bit too close probably. I was dead scared. But father looked normal. He came near me, and both of us sat in the backseat of my rickshaw. Then he said something which I will always remember
" Son. What happens in these brothels is a truth of life. Sex is an urge, and there is no sense denying it. Those who get it fair and square stay at homes. All others like me come here. You are young now, and it is time that you too do not hold this too much in you. Till you find a girl for yourself, you can come here with me. I know by now who are the clean ones in this place.
Just one tip from my side, Son. You got to do it in a way that they learn a lesson. All of them deserve a lesson, just like your mother did. "
Words from fathers to their sons, delivered point blank, eye to eye like this, are never forgotten. Irrespective of whether they are the right thing to say or not.
And teaching a lesson is what I look forward to now. Thru the last 10 years, this urge to teach a lesson has got mixed with the lust, the prostitutes and the cheap dope on sex delivered thru shady comics and c grade hindi movies. I can't even put a name to this concoction now. Whatever it is, it is heady - and sometimes feels like it flows in the blood from bottom to top.
I have stopped going to prostitutes now - some 6 months back. They are too ready for it - I don't get the feeling of teaching a lesson any more. Real action is what I yearn for now, in fact the urge is far higher of late since the prostitute thing stopped.
So what do you think will protect your ladies from me ? Come on, I don't want to have this easy - it will be more fun if some Gentleman put the defenses up. Who will come to your help in protecting your ladies ? Law ? Judges ? Police ? NO ! All of them do their duties, but they can at best stop planned crimes, not impulsive ones. There is just one person who can save your wives, sisters, and friends from me. That person is YOU. I mean, what has happened to all of you ? It seems the sophisticated education and the air conditioned offices have weakened your minds and bones respectively. Be tough ! If it is your wife, sister or friend on whom I decide to strike, and you happen to be with her, I expect you to put a fight more fierce than what you would if your own life was at stake ! Bloody you should take hold of any sharp object around and slit my throat, I say. I will put up a fight for sure, but if you win, rest assured I will freakin' salute you before dying.
Easier said than done, ha ? I know it is too much to expect from the suave lover boys of today. But then at least do your ladies this favor. God has given all men an instinct to smell danger. This is a gift from the times 10000 years ago when all of us men did only two things - hunted animals and made Wars. And both needed this instinct. You may have forgotten it now, but it is not extinct. While you are with your ladies making merry in the CCD's and Barista's of the city, and even when you are not with your ladies - always keep one chip in your mind active on that dark corner, that foggy gulley, that isolated place where she may have to pass from, coz that is where I will strike if I happen to pass by and find her there. Start working on this gentlemen, at least this will make sure you are not dumb enough to have her boarding that weird private bus or going photo shooting in that deserted building !
This was about a probable cure. But prevention is better than cure, right ? And prevention is what you can do with the Shantanus of the world. I take that boy from home to school and back everyday. He recites to me daily what that God damned Internet is feeding him. Hell, I am 5th fail so I won't know much but isn't that Internet supposed to feed educational information ? I still listen to his narrations with a smile, because I know he doesn't get to share it with anyone. And because till now I felt that though whatever he was watching was hardcore, it didn't seem like taking him towards perversion. But yesterday when he mentioned that video on Anal sex, I felt very, very bad. I mean, what kind of a man is his father ? He is good gentleman from what I know, but I increasingly feel being too much of a gentleman has become the problem these days! Can't he talk to his son man to man, eye to eye about something which is the truth of life ? I am not very sure the talk my father gave me was right or wrong, possibly because I never evaluated it. But at least my father had the guts and the intent to talk to me about it, face to face. Why can't Shantanu's father do the same ?
So, this was it, Gentlemen. All of you along with your ladies can hate me, but don't hate me so much that it clouds your reason. Think about all I that have said, and you will protect not just your ladies from me, but possibly you will also prevent me from following an advice which though came from my father, may have been misplaced, to say the least.
